apologies?

apologies?

gone for a while,

i have been.

sorry,

it’s just hard to beat the lonely.

facts had to be regurgitated,

i needed time to stare at you on my screen.

now it’s time for me mememe

to admit that you deserve an apology.

My father’s muzak plays in the background.

Sorry dad, sorry.

don’t we all need an apology.

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am i beauty?

am i beauty?

reading your poems

makes me lonely.

butterflies cluster in my stomach,

gently prodding me forward.

i am intrigued.

the gentle slope

of a swan’s neck,

the derivative of nature,

feminine, gentle, kind.

who am i?

freckles and old scars

reflected like the galaxy

on my face.

high cheekbones, i’m told.

someone, please tell me i’m beautiful.

who am i?

thin lips, kissed by cupid,

a dark rubarb mauve just the way they are.

please, someone tell me.

who am i?

am i beauty?

hazel eyes, like mine, stare back at me.

long eyelashes, blonde at the tips, blink blink blink.

i have learned to love my face,

but is it beauty

i cannot say.

love, her.