commitment [0r lack thereof]

commitment [0r lack thereof]

she doesn’t want a boyfriend

“I don’t need anymore friends…”

she’s done sleeping with strangers,

letting undeserving boys into

underused covers.

he’s not like any of the previous ones

especially the last.

white like a glass of milk,

stark against the memory of the bitterness of almond and chocolates.

he sees your impulses as harmful.

he might be right.

Anxious all day after talking all night,

nose bleed upon awakening from troubled dreams

.Hiding your phone under your bed

so you won’t be tempted to say something that can’t be unsaid over text.

“I thought I was over this shit.”

 

 

 

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wet and cold

wet and cold

it’s raining outside and

the ground is hot

but the air is cold.

he didn’t want to see me anymore,

“this has been fun

but not what I was looking for,”

he said.

that was a week ago,

when the ground was cold and the air was colder

but the world was without water,

so no frozen fragments fell.

I guess he did not enjoy the lemon drops,

or seeing me naked and bear.

the condom broke, he pulled the ripcord.

It’s raining outside,

I’m cold but it’s warm inside.

It is bright and warm and welcoming inside,

don’t worry I am fine.

unexpected lemons

unexpected lemons

lemons that I didn’t expect

occurred this weekend,

sweet and sour with Everclear.

poorly poured margarita mix,

swaying on my feet not quite sick.

You grab my hand, we might have danced;

then all I remember is tongue in my cheek,

lips shifting and margarita mix

that suddenly wasn’t so bad.

Lemons that I didn’t expect

occurred this weekend.

i went home alone, i had an 8 am class the next day.

I’m a good girl (during the day).

the rest of the weekend i cannot say the same.

i didn’t expect for the lemons to be sweet.

So far no sour aftertaste.

I forgot how much I

missed the feeling of

another body on

top of my

body.

Lemons I didn’t expect to receive,

were graciously given this weekend.

I thanked him for his gift quite kindly.

lemons so surprisingly sweet,

unexpected, but right.

Honey Part II- Mi abeja se pierde

Honey Part II- Mi abeja se pierde

Mi abeja se pierde,

My bee is lost.

Honey is gone.

We ran off the table and

made it sticky and

it hurts to look at the places

where we fell so

beautifully in the

sun.

Honey is gone

but my inspiration is not.

honey is gone

but I am not destroyed

because I am stronger than that now

no more crying for boys

even if he did deserve me.

Honey is gone

so suddenly there is still golden remnants

on my bed and on my counter top

and in my laundry and on my desk

and most of all in my mind.

Honey is gone and

while I am bereft I am not broken.

Honey is gone but now I know

he wasn’t the one.

Honey is gone and I was right, there will only be a PART I.

I miss you when I wake up because I remember waking up next to you.

I miss you when I go to sleep because I remember how only two days ago we said goodnight.

I miss you when I eat breakfast alone again.

I miss you when I do my laundry because I remember our long conversations in the hot folding room.

I miss you when I listen to music that we loved together.

Honey is gone, but I still remember the sticky taste in my mouth as if it was yesterday, because it was only yesterday.

My chest aches and my eyes water as I write this, but I’m fine and I forgive you already.

Oh honey. We should have been more than what we were

but we weren’t.

Honey Part I

Honey Part I

Ambered honey crystallizes

with six sides in my mind.

Sticky sweet, dripping from

the rim slowly in large droplets.

Prisms fly as they catch

the light.

Sweet with a bite,

amber and gold,

no maple syrup here.

Your tongue in my mouth.

Your hands gripping mine

with a fierceness I cannot comprehend.

Breathless gasps, fogging my glasses with our excitement.

Deep-seated pleasure,

Cloying pressure.

Your head rests on my shoulder,

I can feel the sweat as you kiss my neck.

My hands on the wide expanse of your back.

Pentagons.

Honey crystallizes with six sides in my mind.

We are honey,

slowly slipping from the rim,

falling through the air,

catching the light as we fall.

You tend my figs so carefully,

keeper of my orchard, my vineyard.

I climb your trees, swing from your lovely limbs.

I pick your apples, and I eat them with honey.

the color of love is red

the color of love is red

Roommates and midnight rendezvous.

Rothskeller in the evening,

rough hands much larger than mine.

Romance, this is not,

risk complicit or complacency.

Rogue kisses

reverent gazes.

“Roll me over.”

Rigid, you are now that it’s over.

Riptide took me in.

Riotous emotions inside of me.

Rings, my mind is now we are the way we are now.

Rings, I thought that far ahead.

Rings, we moved in one.

Regular strangers again, aren’t we?

Rebel tears escape.